The Deep end of my Ocean

When we met I touched the ocean and my hand disappeared into the depths…
It was so scary to think that with one small touch could swallow up all of my hand…

I explored further… I then put my arm into the ocean because I wanted to see if I could touch deeper

The deeper my hand went into the ocean, the more I wanted to explore because the feeling was so enthralling.I felt like I was been allowed to be myself

The deeper the ocean becomes, the deeper my love was been allowed to breath…

It is but a moment in time that will allow me to have a moment of time with you to believe that we were designed to be together…

A single grain of sand is how the most beautiful shells are started… and our love started with one single grain… of love… May our love be as unique as each shell and the ocean that makes them

Lessons in Life

The smell of fresh cut grass, the breeze gently blowing on my face as the sun beats down on me… and the drone of the lawn mower as my thoughts run circles around my mind… today there is no off switch… so the connectors in the grey matter are synapsing and the thought patterns growing.  I have always been told I think too much… and when I have the questions after a thinking session… the responses have been 'Oh no… you been thinking again…"  The family joke is that all my thinking created another brain that was growing on my brain to make space for all the thoughts that happen in my grey matter…

 "Five % of the people think, 10 % of the people think they think, and the other 85 % would rather die than think." - Thomas Edison.

Here I am spending time in my home town, at my parents home where there were so many life lessons taught and received.  This is my story and am sure that I will connect with a number of you as we all have our stories to tell. As Dan Poynter says "we all have a book inside of us, wanting to come out"

I come from a working class family where we wanted for nothing but there was not an abundance but I was given such treasures… treasures that have stood me in good stead through my years. Generosity, love, wisdom, openness, guidelines, inspiration and belief amongst the many others.. Belief in wanting to achieve and provide the moments that they will be proud of the woman I have become.

The home is not built on the bricks and paint but on the laughs, the cries, the words of wisdom,  and on the life that has been lived in the walls…  I have had many firsts in this space ~- starting my high school career, ending my high school career, my first boyfriend.. The love of my life… the first kiss,  the first  job on the line to my amazing career… yes all these things have transpired in these walls.. The emotions have grown from these spaces…  and as many of us constantly search for that happiness… that thing… I want to say maybe our happiness is all the small moments… strung together that entwine our lives and give us the determination to keep going.

Sitting down to a table with a stranger in theory but sharing the deepest and most precious of thoughts with someone  is how I spent this afternoon…. Taking the time to get to know a new/old person on a completely special level. I am stringing all of my moments together and will continue to learn the lessons…

What would you change about your school career? Where you one of the cool kids that just eased through life, where you the nerdy type and did it impact your life… Did you learn any lessons that you can take and teach to your children ? Are you teaching them those lessons ?

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

Tom Bodett

To be a force of nature does not mean that you need to powerful and driving all the time…it means  you need to be consistent,  level & pushing the cart because from those components You are the force that determines your Nature….

The trouble with …Learning from experience is that you never graduate. - Doug Larson, United Feature Syndicate

April Fool's Joke

Allow me to share with you and conjure up just a fraction of emotion as to what memory I have for my April fool’s day joke.

I use this statement often… Give time Time…. It was a difficult lesson for me to learn and I found myself battling to take in all the aspects of this lesson.

So the significance of this day has remained with me and will because I was given a second chance beyond the obvious ones we get every day…

9 years have passed since I passed away and was brought back to be diagnosed with a brain tumour that needed to be removed…. I had not turned 30 yet and had no idea that this could be the end… but I believed that I would come through it… that Jehovah would bring me through to the other side and guide me. There were a number of HERO’s placed in my life to ensure that I lived.  The scans showed that the brain tumour had been growing for many years and was now pushing into the grey matter and was causing seizures and it had to be removed.

There are not many people that can say… I have been scalped and survived… but I can…and I did…

After many hours of wondering, hoping to understand and then believing that there are special moments that have ensured I would be here for more days of passion, of laughter, of sadness, of challenges and of love…

“Don't go the way life takes you, take life the way you want to go & remember you are born to live & not living because you are born.”  I gave time TIME...but now I am taking back the reins...

I LIVED to LIVE..... The hidden significance is not there, I am not going to make a difference by been a Lance Armstrong or Alison, but my difference is that in my own way I have survived and I have lived, I have made mistakes, learnt and worked like any other person putting one foot forward at a time and sometimes that journey takes just as much courage as any extraordinary journey does.

My life journey started 38 years ago but the beyond the obvious years that I have been given, they have in themself been a life lesson and over the last 2 years my life has been wrought with not believing in myself and what my sense is to the world. I did not put emphasis on the journey and then looking and saying I have done nothing different, I am living in this amazing time…but today I have again breathed in and lived another day, another year ~ yes faced with challenges however I am here and writing this because I was given the chance to express my love for life, my passion for people, my compassion to our space.

I did it… I survived, I fought back and made a living just living… and then my questions started and the self-doubt… but I want to say… that every survivor goes through those emotions… which by reference then equates that we are all survivors… And we are all hero’s to someone at some time… I have had amazing people come into my life for a season or a reason and to all of you, the ones that are still there or not, please give me the chance to say thank you for your contribution to me and to apologise if I have in any way taken away from you in an obvious way or not.

We all have a purpose, so find your present purpose – what you should be doing RIGHT now, it is part of the journey and this is the first step ~ admitting, questioning and then understanding that it is time for your change. As you start this new journey, life will breath in new excitement and you will be more alive than you have ever experienced.

So go discover beyond the obvious, what YOU were born to do!